Likewise, it’s unfair to lump all straight {couples} collectively, and disingenuous to counsel that they don’t seem to be able to arguing in a wholesome means.

However as a result of female and male same-sex {couples} every have totally different strengths that assist them endure, we are able to all be taught from them, Miller mentioned.

Listed here are some constructive strategies to deal with disagreements, as noticed by researchers of homosexual {couples}:

Cracking a joke within the midst of a heated second can backfire, however when finished correctly, “it virtually instantly releases the stress,” mentioned Robert Rave, 45, who lives with his husband, David Forrest, in Los Angeles.

Rave cited a current automobile journey the place Forrest, 35, used humor to assist finish an escalating argument over whether or not they need to depend on Google Maps.

“For me, as a basic rule, I self-admittedly will get very a lot in my head. And David will simply merely take the piss out of it and make me chuckle,” Rave mentioned.

A 2003 study in contrast 40 same-sex {couples} with 40 heterosexual {couples} over the course of 12 years to be taught what makes same-sex relationships succeed or fail. The findings urged that same-sex {couples} tended to be extra optimistic when mentioning a disagreement and have been additionally extra prone to stay optimistic after a disagreement when in comparison with heterosexual {couples}.

“Homosexual and lesbian {couples} have been gentler in elevating points, far much less defensive, and used extra humor than heterosexual companions,” mentioned John M. Gottman, Ph.D., the lead writer of the research and co-founder of the Gottman Institute, a company that gives sources, like workshops and on-line programs, to assist {couples} strengthen relationships and affords skilled coaching to clinicians. “These have been giant variations.”

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